I'm so smart and media literate (lie)

all my actually serious but also terrible reviews of shit

UNDER CONSTRUCTION

Half-Life 2 Review: People will talk a lot about how influential this game is but even if it wasn't so groundbreaking in the FPS genre, it would still be an unbelievably fun, kick-ass, and well written experience. Half-Life 2 still stands the test of time 20 years later and I have no doubt that it will continue doing so for a long time.

Celeste Review: (A review of the main chapters of the game as played on Nintendo Switch.) This is the best 2D platformer I've ever played and nothing else even comes close. Anyone who has played it can tell you about how good the story is at taking you through Ms Celeste's journey of self-acceptance, but the gameplay knocks it out of the park as well. All of the mechanics build off the dash move so well and it all leads up to the final climb which is one of the best grand finales in gaming history. The B-Sides suck ass though but its chill cuz Assist Mode exists.

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- Cat Ipsum -

Rub my belly hiss swipe at owner's legs sniff catnip and act crazy growl at dogs in my sleep sit on the laptop for hiss at vacuum cleaner i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me.

Head nudges eat my own ears. Hey! you there, with the hands why can't i catch that stupid red dot, shed everywhere shed everywhere stretching attack your ankles chase the red dot, hairball run catnip eat the grass sniff, or roll over and sun my belly curl up and sleep on the freshly laundered towels.